The Three Best Questions to Create Focus for Your Life

Your work and life don't have to be directionless. Answering these questions will create focus for you to be a better leader, spouse, and parent.

Does your work feel directionless? Over the last 15+ years of leading and managing people, I’ve helped bring clarity to many people’s lives. Here are the three best questions to help you live with focus and intention.

1. What fulfills you?

2. What motivates you?

3. What entertains you?

What fulfills you?

The work that fulfills you gives you a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction. It's the deep kind and not the kind you feel after mowing the lawn or getting your to-do list done. It's living in a way that you know that the work you do gives you a sense of soul level satisfaction. It makes you proud of the work you do. Most often, we don't get to spend 24/7 on work that fulfills you. It's not the way that life works. However, it should be a drumbeat in your life. You should have consistent opportunities to do what fulfills you. When identifying what fulfills you, make sure it's something that helps others. Doing things for only yourself is always shallow and short-lived.

What motivates you?

The kind of work that motivates you gives you a sense of purpose. It clarifies your why. It gives deep meaning to your work. One of the pitfalls of thinking about purpose is getting caught up in the idea that it should be the only thing you should be doing. That's the wrong way of thinking about purpose. Your purpose or what motivates you is the meaning and foundation of your work. When identifying what motivates you, make sure it's something that is rooted in your own story but for the sake of others.

What entertains you?

This question surprised me because I didn't realize how important it was. Identifying what entertains you is your fuel. What entertains you gets you up in the morning. When you have something fun to look forward to, then it's easy to get going. Habit loops that involve fun are magical. This is not shallow entertainment, but this is something that you find fun despite the hard work it requires. So, when identifying what entertains you, make sure it's something challenging and when you do it you lose track of time.

Here are my answers as examples.

1. What fulfills me? I'm fulfilled by coaching people and helping them reach greater levels of living than they thought possible.

2. What motivates me? I'm motivated by protecting kids from abuse due to their parents’ poor money decisions.

3. What entertains me? I'm entertained by solving hard problems, particularly business problems because they involve so many variables. (It's also why I love Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu!)

Answering these questions clearly for yourself will create direction. Not answering these questions or having shallow answers will leave you in a frustrating place. It takes work to think through all of this but it's well worth it. The process of determining these answers will refine you.

Steps to Answering These Questions

Here's how to get started in answering these questions for yourself. Before you begin, keep in mind that this should feel like a progression with many various and will not feel like a light switch (unless you've already done similar work on yourself). So here are the steps.

1. Write down your instinctual answer for each question. It shouldn't take you more than 5 minutes. It's the first answer that comes to mind. The enemy to this process is thinking you have to find the perfect answer.

2. Over the next few days and multiple times each day, read your answers and make changes. You can tweak words or you can completely change them. Keep working on the answers until you feel like they are directionally 70% there.

3. Everyday thereafter for a month, read your answers and only make small tweaks as necessary. If you find any yourself with an answer that feels like it doesn't fit, then go back to Step 1 for that particular question.

It's important to note that faith or philosophy are the underpinnings for any of the answers you give. My faith in Jesus is at an identity level where everything I do comes from. When answering these questions, avoid religious or philosophical answers as they won't actually give you the kind of clarity you need to live each day.

We've all heard the adage "time is the only unrecoverable resource". Stewarding your time isn't about what you achieve but how you choose to live in the small moments of your life. Answering these questions with specificity and clarity will unlock focus and intention.

What fulfills you?
What motivates you?
What entertains you?

If you got this far in this post, then I’d like to remind you of the gratitude we all ought to have to have the means and ability to think about these questions.